Gentlemen (yes, this is for the guys),
Most women who seek my services include “get a serious boyfriend” or “find love” or “keep my spouse attracted to me” in their list of life goals. Not style goals, LIFE goals! That means you men are a large part of the equation in women’s complicated styling decisions.
Whether they admit it or not, research shows that women are very sensitive to feedback about their appearance– much more so than most men. So while you may not require any affirmations about how you look, it’s a great idea to tell that special lady in your life how she looks. Use the tips below to boost her self confidence and help her understand what turns you on. She’ll naturally respond to that feedback in her styling decisions, and both of you will see sparks!
Give Specific Compliments
Saying “you look great, honey” every day becomes the equivalent of “how’s it going” when you walk past a co-worker in the hallway. It’s polite, but your true interest level is close to nil. Instead, point out a specific feature or element about her appearance that you find attractive, and why you like it. For example, “I love it when you wear that dress. It really shows off your figure.” Or “Your hair looks sexy pulled up and showing off your neck and shoulders.”
Two benefits: 1. She’ll see you’re actually PAYING ATTENTION, 2. You’ll reinforce the pattern, and she’ll look for other outfits with similar qualities.
Be Honest But Tactful
Men dread the question: “Does this make me look fat?” Women dread the Al Bundy response: “It’s not the pants that make you look fat, Peg. It’s the fat that makes you look fat.” So women typically resort to “How do I look?”
Refer to the first tip. However, don’t lie! If something doesn’t look great on her and you tell her it does, you’ve set her up for wearing it again and again. Instead, suggest an outfit that you *do* like saying ‘This outfit doesn’t do you justice. What about that other one you wore to [fill in the blank].” If she asks why you don’t like it, stick to commentary about the clothing itself. Say “Those jeans don’t fit as well as your other pair” rather than “Those jeans make you look like a sausage.”
Benefits: 1. She’ll start avoiding clothing that doesn’t flatter her figure. 2. She’ll appreciate your gentle honesty,which shows you care.
Avoid Turning Her Into Someone She’s Not
This is tough. If your lady has a Christina Hendricks (Joan of MadMen fame) body, you may instinctively encourage her to dress in form-fitting, curvaceous leopard prints. But if she’s a tech analyst with a with a thoughtful and quiet demeanor, she’ll feel terribly uncomfortable toting that “Hey, check me out!” message. Her self image will deteriorate and any sex appeal will disappear. Support her visual personality (signature style), again referring to the tips above.
Benefit: She’ll love you for embracing who she is as a person, which is a real turn-on for women.
Start practicing these little tips today and you’ll most likely see a real difference in your lady’s emotional and physical response to your sincere compliments.
Call or email me if you have questions about my services, which help women make wiser decisions for a more positive self image.
Have A Signature Day!
Thea Wood, Signature Stylist www.theawood.com 512.217.9869